Why don't I just say all this to your face?! Fear of rejection, acceptance of my feelings, do you really want to know, to hear....these things I believe you already know. I talk to you daily. You are my best friend. sometimes best friends aren't supposed to fall for each other....but they say those are the ones that truely have something. I don't know what it is that we have.....I feel I do know,...but our situations cloud that.
I know in my heart how I feel about you. Our first kiss for me was magical. It was awkward for a brief moment but turned out to be so incredibly perfect. I knew then...for sure...there was something there between us. I have a connection to you, I can't explain....I don't know if you feel this same thing. Something has me so drawn to you that I feel I can not ever let go. A long time before our first kiss, I felt that there was some special connection we had, just thought maybe I found a very good friend. Unexplainable.
Things between us grew stronger, our friendship has always remained and continued to grow, as did feelings. You stole my heart. I always say things happen for a reason....im still wondering why this happened. So many incredible moments, perfect moments. So many times I just want to look in your eyes, hold your face as I do when i kiss you, and just tell you I love you. But I'm scared...of what??!! A lot! I don't want you to push me away. Ever. I have had some rough patches in my life this past year and you have been such great support. Helping me so much. But I would never compromise our friendship or this relationship we have. I know the situations make it extremely difficult....but I'm not asking for the world. What do I want....to know you will always be there, that we can hold onto this thing we have. I don't want things between us to change. I want you to know that I am yours....and no one else's. No one will ever compare to you. You are irreplaceable.
I don't want anyone else.. When you talk about me eventually moving on, it tears my heart in two. I don't ever want anyone else. I will never feel so complete as I do with you. I live my life as if you are mine and I am yours. I have NO interest in anyone else. Just you. People ask me if I have a boyfriend....I tell them my heart is taken.
You make make happy, I love seeing you smile, I love your laugh, when you're sad....I'm just down right miserable. I look forward to a text from you....that just maybe you actually are thinking about me. The peace and calm I have with you is incredible. I feel at ease, safe, untouchable...like there is nothing bad that can happen....almost movie like....nothing else exists. You give me so many amazing feelings I never knew even existed.
Also I am here for you when you need me. Always will be. I care so much for you on so many different levels.
I don't know why I decided to do this....when I'm upset I usually find myself writing in my journal....I turned here...guess so I can maybe send you the link to read this...I'm unsure.
I was so upset yesterday knowing something was wrong before you eventually text me. I know you needed some space but it hurts me when you won't talk to me.
I'm sorry things happened the way they did. Sometimes I wish I never would have known or felt all these amazing things for you. But it happened and now I don't want anything else. You are part of my life. I love you so much, as my best friend and more. I value everything thing that you are and we have. I want to freeze time and cherish every moment we have together, afraid that I will lose it one day. The thought of losing you is tough.
We have something special. I'm willing to wait as long as it takes for things to be more calm....and better. I just don't want to lose what we have, I won't lie. It would hurt a lot if it ended.
I guess this post was just me telling you, I love you. I'll always be your L
I have no problem being patient. You are worth any wait.
Can it ever be....will it ever be? Time will tell.....
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